keepcruising | OPEN POST FOR STEVE!

[→from here]

[The apartment itself is as it's always been: simple and sparsely furnished, partly because Bucky doesn't need "stuff" and partly because, with how their lives are, it's best to be prepared to pack up and leave town at a moment's notice. Nevertheless there's a warmth to the space, one in which Steve's always been welcome.]

I feel like there's no answer I can give that question that isn't going to incriminate me, so I'm going to pretend I didn't hear it.

[Which is also a little bit teasing, light and easy and accompanied with a smile. It's kind of what he wants for this whole thing to be: just an extension of everything they already are and no need for any of that to change.]

Do you want coffee or anything? [Those flowers probably have to go in water, so the small kitchen seems like as good a destination as any.]

[ Steve chuckles softly and toes off his shoes near the door so he can get comfortable in the familiar space. The teasing is something Steve's come to rely on in a way. If they're teasing each other, it means that nothing big is wrong between them and he leans into that thought like a security blanket. ]

Coffee sounds good.

[ He follows Bucky into the kitchen a moment later, socked feet quiet on the floor, and stands at the doorway watching him. There's a little smile on his face that doesn't seem to be going anywhere any time soon. He's not trying to hide it, either. There's no point in hiding anything from Bucky right now. ]

[There's comfort in Steve's comfort in the space, honestly. Since he's had the place Steve's always been welcome in it — a far cry from the discomfort of discovering Steve as an intruder back in Romania. Then, he'd needed to hide from the world. Now, he wants Steve in his world.

Full circle, or as near to it as he's likely to get.]

I am sorry, you know. If I pushed that joke too far earlier.

[Water and ground beans in the coffee pot and the device is switched on; he can't complain at all about some of the modern conveniences. There's a little hunting around to find a container for those flowers though, and they're ultimately going to end up in a coffee mug because it's what he's got.]

Don't be ridiculous.

[ Bucky's so relaxed these days that Steve can hardly believe it. He knows there's more to it than that. There are things that weigh on both of them that just weren't there before and that's not going away. Some ghosts never fade and they're just a part of who Steve and Bucky are now. Still, Steve looks at how far Bucky has come and it's so good to see him like this. He'd rather Bucky take a joke too far than not make it at all.

When he sees the flowers going into a coffee mug, his smile gets wider. He steps further into the small kitchen space, stranding close to Bucky. ]

Are you still going to teach me how to dance?

I thought you liked it when I'm ridiculous.

[It's easy to fall into this, the back and forth that they'd always enjoyed in their younger days. It's as natural as breathing, which it always had been with Steve. That things had drifted from that ease was out of either of their control but now?

Well, there's no denying that there are still things about which they probably need to talk. But right now isn't the time for heavier thoughts; right now is for smiles and a rumble of a chuckle as Bucky half turns to Steve.]

Are you still going to step on my feet? [It might be a yes on both their counts.] I can't promise I'll remember everything I used to know.

[ Of course Steve likes it when he's ridiculous. The teasing and joking is a quality he's always liked about Bucky. The way Bucky sees and treats him never changed. Even when Steve had been small and sickly, Bucky had seen him for who he was. Nothing could take that away. ]

I'll help you remember.

[ He reaches for Bucky's hand, like he has plenty of times before, but this is a little different, isn't is? ]

And I'll ice your feet after I step on them. It's the least I can do.

Steve...

[It’s rare that Bucky’s caught up completely speechless, rare that he doesn’t have a joking comment to make with the one person who knows him better than any other, who’s seen him at his best and at HYDRA’s worst and is still here. And the topic of his memory is probably among the things they need to discuss at some point. But not right now, not with Steve’s hand curling around his and Bucky’s fingers spread, lacing with Steve’s. He can’t help the happiness he feels for it; they fit even like this.

Looking over at Steve really is looking over at him now; they’re of similar height where once he’d needed to look down. It’s nice, and the smile that curls across his face is warm, genuine.]

Why don’t you have a little more confidence in yourself, huh? I do. [Confidence in Steve that doesn’t have anything at all to do with dancing, confidence that sees him turning more toward Steve, sliding a hand to his waist.] Let’s do this.

[ They've never held hands like this before and Steve can't help noticing how right it feels, how well Bucky's hand fits in his now. He could worry about all the scars they both have, all the great and terrible things they've missed in each other's lives when they were apart, but after everything's been stripped away, they still fit together better than ever, like two halves of a whole.

Bucky looks good when he smiles like that and Steve can't help returning it. He wants to make Bucky smile like that as much as he can.

That's about his last thought before he feels Bucky's hand on his waist and he knows his cheeks must be turning a little pink. Confidence isn't really a problem for Steve in most things, but now he's got Bucky here, touching him and standing so close and he's not entirely sure if he remembered to breath.

He squeezes Bucky's hand gently. ]

You have to lead. You're the one who knows what he's doing.

[ In more ways than one. ]

[Steve's blush is as endearing as his smile and it hooks in somewhere right behind Bucky's heart, a warm, weighted feeling. And it's nice, as simple as flowers in a coffee cup and the soft burble of the coffee maker on the counter. And maybe it can stay that simple, at least a little bit.

Maybe Steve will keep smiling like that, with the faintest hint of pink high on his cheeks and the light of something happy and carefree in his eyes.]

If you want me to—

[And he doesn't mean just for the dance lesson; he's pretty sure that Steve will know it as well. His gaze moves to their joined hands when Steve squeezes, and it brings a chuckle to his lips. He's about to shift that half step closer, about to nudge Steve into movement but he stops himself with a shake of his head.]

What am I doing? We should do this right.

[Right means pulling his hand from Steve's waist and digging his phone out of his pocket instead, saying a silent thank you for things like the internet and Spotify. A moment later soft jazz fills the kitchen, the closest he can get on short notice to what was popular in their younger years.

He slides that hand to Steve's waist again, slides that half step closer.] Hand on my shoulder, just move with me for a bit. Nothing fancy.

[Nothing complicated, mostly just a sort of swaying together so Bucky can learn (relearn) how Steve moves. Normally this is where he'd pull out the half-lidded eyes, the deliberate laugh-and-lean-closer, all the moves he had to make a girl melt in his arms. But it's not just about seducing Steve, not just about one encounter, one night. It's about figuring out how this works — because he thinks this could maybe really work.]

[ Steve follows Bucky's instructions and lets the music wash over him. It's nice, almost familiar if a little changed in much the same way Bucky is now, too.

They've been partners in so many ways for so long now that moving like this with Bucky feels more natural than it used to. They've fought together practically as one for so long that it's easier to read Bucky's body now, to move with him, even in these simple movements.

He sways with Bucky, letting Bucky set the tempo. It's not always easy for him to let someone else take charge, but with Bucky there's so much trust there that it's a lot less of a struggle to just go with it. ]

You were always so good at this stuff. I never understood where you even learned it all from.

[ His eyes are warm and fond, flush not leaving his cheeks, and he just keeps smiling warmly at Bucky, because he can't imagine any place he'd rather be or anyone he'd rather be with right now. This is perfect.

His socked foot slides on the floor then, tapping Bucky's bare one and Steve chuckles. At least if he steps on Bucky like this, it won't hurt too much. ]

[It really is perfect. Sure it's a far cry from what it used to be, Bucky making sure his date had a sister or a cousin or a friend so Steve wasn't left out, trying so hard to get the kind of smile that he sees on Steve's face now. Maybe in a way it's good that their lives happened as they did, if it means they can be together like this now. That's sugarcoating things for sure, but right now Bucky can't find it in him to care.

Right now he has Steve moving with him, smiles on both their faces. And it's so natural for them to fight together that really, dancing shouldn't be much different. It still requires skill and coordination and that instinct of being able to read your partner. And it requires a heck of a lot less punching!]

Mostly by doing. [Bucky shrugs; it's less important where he learned it from and more important that he gets to share it all with Steve now.] Kinda like how I want to teach you now.

[Which apparently includes the bump of Steve's foot against his own! It makes Bucky laugh again, laugh and shift his own foot out of the way even as pressure at Steve's waist encourages him to move a little more with the music.]

[ Bucky's always had natural charisma. Steve remembers it even when they were kids. He thinks all the dancing must have come naturally to Bucky the same way everything else had. He's always figured Bucky could have been friends with anyone he'd wanted, but he'd chosen Steve all those years ago and stuck by his through so much. Steve can't imagine a better friend to have than Bucky. ]

Laugh it up. Just be happy I took my shoes off.

[ There's no bite to his tone, voice soft as he follows Bucky's lead. He moves a little more now, trying to loosen up and only half succeeding, but being awkward in front of Bucky isn't too embarrassing anymore. It hasn't been for a long time. Bucky's seen him at his worst and he's still here, touching Steve and looking at him like he's worth everything. ]

[The statement makes him laugh a little more, and he squeezes their joined hands happily. It's a bit silly perhaps, a dance lesson in Bucky's kitchen, but that hardly matters. What matters is that they're being silly together, that Steve's smiling and clearly glad to be here.

He's lighter like this, happier. Bucky adores it to no end.]

Close your eyes? [It's a quiet little thing, a request instead of a statement. Steve's still a little bit stiff and that's half his problem; Bucky thinks a large part of the other half is Steve not actually believing that he can dance.] Stop trying; just close your eyes and feel how I move. Move with me.

[ Anyone else might get an incredulous look, but it's Bucky and Steve closes his eyes before he's even finished talking. He feels foolish like this, but he just lets himself feel Bucky's hands and his guiding movement. With a few slow breaths, he even manages to loosen up a hair.

With his eye closed, he can hear Bucky's breathing more clearly, smell whatever shampoo Bucky is using these days, faint as that smell is. Bucky smells good, familiar and welcome and with his eyes closed, it's possible that Steve's head starts to tilt forward a little towards it. ]

I don't know how to stop trying.

[He's patient, because Bucky does realize that, at some level, this is difficult for Steve. Not the dancing, which is little more than just swaying with the beat of the music. But it's more in the giving up of some of the stiffness, some of the alertness that's always present in his friend. It's about just relaxing into things and the fact that Steve does, just a little bit? That's huge.]

You're doing just fine.

[Soft, because they're so close and because he doesn't want to jolt Steve into opening his eyes just yet, doesn't want to bring anything of the stiffness back into the space between them — a space that's small to begin with, a space that Bucky makes even a little smaller by pressing a little closer. His eyes rove over Steve's face, memorizing and re-memorizing every little detail even though he knows he's looked at Steve a million times by now. But he doesn't think he'll ever get tired of the long lashes, the high cheekbones, the strong line of his jaw, the fullness of his lips. And it's be easy, if this was back then: lead his partner into a dip, laughing and smiling to pull them back up and into a kiss. He'd done it time and time again.

But this is Steve, and he deserves something more.]

I already know what you're gonna say— [which clearly isn't stopping him from voicing the quiet question] —but do you trust me?

[ Steve does feel a little more relaxed now and his smile widens at Bucky's encouragement. He doubts he's really doing all that well, but he likes doing it, anyway. Being this close to Bucky, being able to let go just a little is nice. It's a welcome change when he's always so tense and alert these days.

With his eyes closed, he feels a little vulnerable if he's honest. It's not to an attack, per se, but more like he's giving Bucky more control and that's okay. If anyone can have that power over him, he wants it to be Bucky. ]

Of course I trust you.

[ The words are murmured, his eyes still closed as he speaks and this all feels so intimate. The world has fallen away and it's just him and Bucky here in this place, swaying to music and breathing the same air and Steve can feel the heat radiating off of Bucky's body. It makes him want to melt a little. ]

[That smile really does light up Steve’s face and Bucky might even think it a little unfair, if he didn’t know that he’s the cause of it. But here like this that smile is all for him, for the enjoyment of an activity shared and Bucky squeezes Steve’s hand again, happy.

Maybe they don’t deserve this, something so simple and warm, but Bucky most certainly isn’t going to say no to it.]

Good—

[Soft, warm, it’s all the warning that Steve is going to get before Bucky leans in — not down, not like they were but like they now are — to press his lips to the corner of Steve’s mouth. It lingers, a quiet affection blooming behind the action and if it’s well received then he’ll move to place the next kiss directly on Steve’s lips.]

[ Steve's not sure what to expect, but he really had meant what he'd said. He trusts Bucky more than anyone else, probably already knows Bucky in ways he'll never understand another person and that's probably what got them here in the first place.

When he feels the contact of Bucky's lips, he smiles even wider against the contact and he doesn't wait for Bucky to move and do all the work himself, either. He turns his had ever so slightly to meet Bucky in that kiss.

He's not dancing anymore now and his hand slides from Bucky's shoulder to cup his jaw gently. There's not much that he can imagine that could compete with the feeling of kissing Bucky right now. ]

[There’s always been an understanding between them, something that went all the way back to their youth. It’s how they can have entire conversations with nothing more than a look, nothing more than reading the space between them. Maybe that’s why Steve doesn’t react with too much surprise to the kiss; maybe that’s why he’s moving to meet Bucky in it. Whatever the case it sends a small curl of satisfaction through Bucky, makes the hand at Steve’s waist tighten its grip just a little, thumb moving in a soft stroking motion.

And see now, Bucky can dance and kiss at the same time, but clearly he’s going to have to work Steve up to that kind of coordination. Still he’s not complaining at all, leaning into that hand at his jaw and lingering close to turn one kiss into two, into three. He can feel Steve’s smile curling into it, knows that Steve can likely feel his own, and it’s perfect.

Eventually he’ll pull back a little, just enough to talk. There’s mischief dancing in his eyes and a tease threaded through his voice.] Still interested in dancing?

[ At first, Steve had felt nervous about this, like he could disappoint Bucky somehow, but the kissing sets his mind at ease surprisingly quickly. It reminds him that there's no big milestone to live up to here. They can just be themselves and figure this out together and he wants that desperately. He wants to figure out the few things about Bucky that he doesn't already know until all the mystery is gone. He really can't help all of those romantic notions he'd never grown out of, the feeling that everyone is made for someone and maybe Bucky was made for him all along. They just needed to go through some changes to find how they fit together.

When Bucky pulls back, Steve finally opens his eyes. ] Only with you, pal.

[ He knows it's corny, but it's not like Bucky isn't used to him by now. The smell of coffee and the sounds of jazz fill the kitchen and all Steve can think is that he wants to make Bucky smile like this as much as he can. There's been too much pain on his face, enough to last a few lifetimes. Steve wants to see him happy like this, wants to do whatever it takes, because Bucky is worth everything to him. So far, he's found that there's nothing he won't do for Bucky. Maybe he'll spend the rest of his life testing that. ]

[It’s probably a good thing that they can’t actually read each other’s thoughts because Bucky would honestly wonder where he’d failed in things if he knew that Steve had ever thought he could be in any way disappointing. No, this is honestly perfect, soft music filling the kitchen, coffee on the horizon and a night to spend figuring this out. He can’t possibly ask for more.

Well, except maybe another attempt at dancing, and that’s less about dancing and more about feeling Steve moving with him.]

I like the sound of that. I’ll even let you keep your eyes open this time if you relax a little.

[The hand on Steve’s waist nudges him into motion again before slipping to the small of his back to bring them a little closer. Steve should be able to pick up rhythm and motion both by the movements of Bucky’s hips — whether or not he can follow remains to be seen.]

[ Steve's trying and maybe the kissing helped a little, because he lets Bucky pull him closer, starts to move with him a little less self-consciously. It's not the most graceful or impressive thing, but it's less stiff by a fair amount.

Back when they'd been younger, he'd always thought Bucky had just wanted to teach him to dance so he could be less useless on all those double dates he was getting dragged on. He wonders what else he must have missed in all those looks and touches and offers he'd never let himself think too much about.

Of course, he also has no idea how he might have reacted if he'd noticed. The idea of rejecting Bucky is entirely foreign, but he wonders if he would have been brave enough to let anything happen, either, or if they would have just been trapped in a sort of stalemate. It's not as if he'd never noticed Bucky, either, because it's impossible not to notice him when he turns on the charm. Steve used to melt into crowds, at least to anyone other than Bucky, but Bucky always stood out like a beacon that Steve couldn't help but follow and couldn't help but want just a little.

He leans his forehead against Bucky's, nothing but warm affection on his face now. ]

[Steve's efforts really are noticed, the way he's a little less stiff in Bucky's arms, how he moves a little more naturally. It's enough for Bucky to get a little fancier than just swaying together, leading Steve into a quick little two-step here, a little bit of a turn there. Just to see what Steve will do, just to see if he'll trust Bucky enough to just let himself have a little fun.

Speaking of fun, the way Steve leans close? It's very nice, warm in a way that makes Bucky's smile grow wider. He's not thinking about the past, about what opportunities may have been missed. He's thinking about now, about the possibilities of what they could be. Already they fit together so well; Bucky is betting that this isn't the only way they'll do so.

And, well, eventually he'll get Steve to do a strip tease. It's now a goal.

As the song winds to an end, he leans in for another kiss.] You're getting better.

[ Steve does his best to not overthink the movements, following Bucky and only occasionally stepping on him with a socked foot. Letting Bucky lead is easier the longer he does it, like his body just needs to remember that it's Bucky of all people and trusting him is like trusting his lungs to breath. ]

I guess I have an alright teacher.

[ He bumps their noses together affectionately and lets his hand settle on the back of Bucky's neck. Dancing with Bucky is nice, but it's more about the fact that it's Bucky than anything else. The right partner really does make all the difference. It's something he's always known in theory, but dancing like this with Bucky, free of pretense and everything out in the open, really proves the point. ]

Just alright?

[It's said with a fond smile at the way Steve stays close, at the warm touch on the back of his neck. It's nice enough that when the next song comes on Bucky doesn't even bother with dancing anymore, just pulls Steve closer with both arms wrapped around him.]

I think there's hope for your left feet yet. [A beat.] Slim hope, but hope nonetheless.

[Hey, it's not like he's going to forego the teasing entirely! Thumbs stroke down either side of Steve's spine though, simply happy in keeping Steve close.]

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