[ Steve doesn't miss anything. He's so attuned to Bucky's reactions right now, cataloging everything Bucky seems to like and everything Bucky does that Steve likes. Little sighs and lingering touches all feel like tiny victories. It's like Steve's won something special and worth treasuring for as long as he's allowed to have it. ]
You know I can't back away from a good challenge.
[ And if there's a little laughter in his voice, it's only because historically this has involved Bucky getting pulled into Steve's challenges and this will be no different. ]
I guess I'll have to stay a while, then. Redefine what being spoiled means for you.
[ He scratches at Bucky's scalp gently as his other hand caresses Bucky's jaw. Tender, affectionate touches that he can't help giving, as simple as exhaling a breath. ]
[It's unfair almost, how well Steve seems to be able to read him. That's supposed to be Bucky's thing! But he's not even really complaining because it's just so nice to linger together, warm and soft and happy and leaning into Steve, learning what he likes and delighting in how Steve's learning him as well. So much that they know about each other already and this is new and more than a little exciting. His smile curves long Steve's skin, a precursor to pressing a lingering kiss to the spot — just out of happiness, just because he can. It's nice.]
Then I guess I'm just gonna have to keep challenging you, aren't I?
[Which is just a part of who they are, really. The fact that they're exploring intimacy doesn't change that very basic tenant of their friendship.
Turning into those soft caresses, Bucky presses a kiss to the palm of Steve's hand before turning eyes on him once again. And the idea those words spark is wild, it's crazy, it's—]
Let's do it then. Stay a week — stay longer than a week. Let's just... explore each other. Figure this thing out.
[Sexually, platonically, and everything in between. Every shade and nuance of what they've become, every memory pieced together from their past and laid against their present, every way their new bodies fit together. It's worth exploring and it's worth doing together. And a week away from the world (barring the world falling apart)? That's definitely something Bucky wants to explore.]
[ Steve might roll his eyes a little, but it's only with fondness in mind. Bucky challenging him is nothing new. Hell, Bucky messing with him isn't, either. If it really bothered him, he would have made it known ages ago and he knows Bucky would have stopped, but he likes the way Bucky challenges him.
Neither of them have ever been afraid to call each other out or poke at each other's bruises. He's honestly relieved that they've settled back into that. It's a sure sign that Bucky really has made worlds of progress and Steve couldn't be happier about that. He'd hated feeling like they were tip-toeing around each other. ]
Okay.
[ There's a slow, lazy smile on his face as he says it and he really doesn't need to think it over to know that he wants what Bucky is suggesting. Things will always pull at them. He can't change who he is or walk away from it, but Bucky is a constant, too, and that's important. Things may pull at them sometimes, but Steve would like to think it's clear that Bucky's a big priority now that he's back in Steve's life. ]
I don't think I've heard a better offer since you asked me to live with you in Brooklyn.
[ There are a lot of reasons to say no, but one very big reason to say yet: He loves Bucky. ]
[Curled close, warm, happy, teasing. These are all things that make the night kind of perfect, and all things that Bucky won't trade for the entire world. Even the thread of challenge that ties them together feels comfortable, something that's warm and happy and filled with lazy possibility — something they can act on when they're ready to move yet something that can wait because there's no rush. For once in their lives, they can wait.
It's a comfortable feeling and goes perfectly with the warmth that is their bodies pressed together.
Bucky's mouth crooks into a smile. Their Brooklyn apartment was the worst, small and cramped and too cold in the winter, too hot in the summer. But it had been theirs, and that's all that had mattered.]
I just might be asking you to do that now, pal.
[Not that their lives will make it easy, and there's no guarantee that they'll see the inside of the apartment as much as they could be out and about doing what they need to do. But why not? It wouldn't be the first time they lived together, and Bucky thinks he adores the idea of sharing their space on a more regular basis.]
[ Steve's life had always been a modest one. Having that crappy apartment with Bucky had been amazing because it had been their home and getting to share a home with Bucky had been worth drafts and sweating and living half on top of each other, because his whole family had been in that apartment. Bucky had been it back then and even now that Steve's life has changed so much and he's made room in his heart for other people, Bucky's name is still on the biggest piece. He's still Steve's family.
Is it a crazy idea? Steve's probably not the best judge, anyway. He's well aware that he's always doing things that people think are crazy. He can't worry about them. He has to be true to himself and what he wants in life. This is what he wants right here. ]
Does it matter if it's crazy?
[ It sounds like a great idea to him, like something he would have wanted even without this new aspect of their relationship developing.
Sometimes he still worries about crowding Bucky too much. Giving Bucky space to figure out his own autonomy had been important, much as it had pained Steve to do anything other than drag Bucky around with him everywhere, but now Bucky's doing pretty well. Steve isn't worried anymore that Bucky might be following his lead out of habit. He hasn't been worried about that for a while.
Bucky isn't asking him to stay because he's afraid to be alone or because he thinks it's what Steve wants. He wants it himself and Bucky asking for things he wants isn't going to get old for Steve. It still make him happy to see that giant step of progress and he can't help indulging in just about anything Bucky asks for.
His slides his hand over Bucky's cheek, thumb moving in a gentle caress.]
[It’d been simple to extend the offer, and it’s just as easy to hear Steve accept it. Oh, they’ll have to figure out things like logistics, how and where and if Steve’s going to move here or Bucky’s going to move there or if they’ll find an entirely new place but that can all be addressed in the morning. It’s enough right now to have this much of a crazy plan, enough to know that Steve wants it as much as Bucky does.
He leans up, levers himself up with an elbow so that he can lean right into Steve’s space and kiss him full on the mouth.]
Wouldn’t be the first time either of us has done something crazy.
[Happiness dances in his eyes, clear and bright as anything and yes, this is something Bucky wants. It’s what he wants and it’s something he’s going to reach out and take because he can, because he and Steve have always been two halves of a whole. And with Steve he feels whole, happy and whole and he’s not the Bucky Barnes he used to be and that’s okay too.
He presses into Steve’s touch, silently asking him for more. He can’t get enough of the affection that flows so easily through them.]
And there’s no one I’d rather be with. I think that makes us a pretty perfect match.
[ When Bucky pulls back from the kiss, Steve is laughing. Maybe they're both crazy. It doesn't matter.
Even when he'd had nothing, he'd had Bucky. Those words had been so true, but more than that, when he'd had Bucky, he hadn't wanted for much more. Steve's never needed fancy things beyond maybe a little extra medical care. He's never wanted any of it. Living that modest life he'd lived with Bucky had felt like paradise once, even when he'd been cold and sometimes hungry, because he'd had someone with him who he could count on no matter. Money can't buy what they have.
His thumb keeps caressing Bucky's skin, moving down over Bucky's jaw until his fingers are playing over the bruise Steve had left on Bucky's throat. It will fade soon, but Steve can add more. ]
You might be right.
[ When his eyes move back up from Bucky's neck to his eyes again, there's something warm and happy there that he hasn't felt in a long time. He can't remember the last time he was so content, but there's a feeling of peace within him and he knows it can't last forever, but he's going to enjoy it this time. He's had too many missed chances in his life. This isn't going to be another one. ]
[Steve’s laugh is just about the best thing ever. It really lights up his face, makes him look brighter and happier. Bucky kind of adores it, adores the fact that he gets Steve like this. It’s special, warm and unique and happy, a softness in his eyes that’s been all too rare lately.
He wouldn’t mind being the one who brings that happiness back to Steve.
He leans quite happily into Steve’s caress, a content look painted across his expression. And he can’t hide the shiver that runs down his spine when Steve lingers against that bruise, re-igniting the feeling of having received it in the first place. It’s probably pretty clear that Bucky wouldn’t mind sporting a few more, and on a pretty regular basis.]
Of course I’m right. It’s me.
[Really, does Steve expect any other kind of answer to a statement like that?!? Bucky’s just so happy though, and part of his happiness is in teasing, because they’ve always pushed and challenged each other. Being together like this isn't going to change that one bit. Especially when he sees the warmth in his friend’s expression, the happiness reflected there. What they have now is something that maybe they’ve always had, and they just needed to both be in the right place for it. That’s a comforting thought: that for as hard as their lives have been, they have something precious now.]
Though I have to say— [his smile turns a little wicked] —that I wouldn’t mind if you decided to instigate again.
[ Steve can't even manage to tease all that hard right now. He's too happy. Seeing all that contentment on Bucky's face is like the greatest prize for him. He remembers a time when he hadn't known if Bucky could ever really be okay again. He'd been so worn down and frightened and it had broken Steve's heart to see it.
Now, he's so thankful for these moments. Every little smile or relaxed moment for Bucky is a win in Steve's eyes. That he's the cause is even better.
It feels like they're so connected now and Steve wants to hold onto that as long as he can.
His fingers travel down to Bucky's shoulder, tracing gentle shapes there. ]
[And sure, maybe their teasing game is a little weak right now but it'll surely be forgiven with how completely happy he is to be curled up with Steve, touching and caressing and kissing. And Bucky likes the promise in it too, the promise for more of this, for similar encounters. And even for mornings spent in each other's space, afternoons curled on the couch with books or a movie.
He shifts his arm to wrap it around Steve's waist, squeezing happily.]
You are, are you? [It's a little bit mischievous and a lot happy, and Bucky raises himself up just enough to kiss Steve, because he's never going to get enough of kissing Steve.] Because I'm half tempted to tell you to seduce me.
[It's half a tease and half not, full of affection for Steve and a sense of complete awe that this is happening at all.]
[ Steve's never been one to ignore a challenge, even a friendly half-joking one. This is no exception, especially when it's one that seems so appealing.
He hums thoughtfully, trying his best to look like he really is considering it carefully.
There's a wicked little smile on his lips as the arm that's wrapped around Bucky tightens and his hand slides up Bucky's neck to tangle in his hair and pull him back in for a much more heated kiss. His other hand finds its way to Bucky's lower back and then lower over the swell of his ass.
He even lets a little moan slip out, promising just as much as it is appreciative.
The kiss lingers, hot and hard until he finds himself going a little breathless from it. ]
I'm not sure if I know how to seduce, but I can try.
[Maybe it's because Bucky knows that Steve can't ignore a challenge, that he issues such a one in the first place. Maybe it's all just good fun tangled up with the exploration they've been doing, because Bucky really is enjoying exploring everything that he can with Steve. Maybe it's the way Steve had gotten a little possessive earlier; Bucky had rather enjoyed that.
He's also enjoying the way Steve pulls him close now, hands on his skin and in his hair and not at all shy about where they wander. His hips rock as he pushes his ass against Steve's hand, inviting, and the kiss is returned with as much enthusiasm as it's given. One thing is most certainly for sure: Bucky isn't going to be tired of kissing Steve any time soon.
His eyebrows go up at that comment though, his expression incredulous. It's half an act, just as Steve's considering look had been.]
Steve, if this is you not knowing how to seduce me, then I'm definitely in trouble because damn.
[Oh, he's definitely an asshole. But he's Bucky's asshole.]
[ Steve's smile turns warmer. He can't quite keep the fondness out of his eyes, even when he's trying to pretend, because Bucky is so beautiful to him like this, irresistible in every way that matters and Steve is like a moth to a flame here. He's just lucky that Bucky doesn't want to burn him.
His hands stay where they are, holding Bucky close as he brushes his nose against Bucky's and kisses his cheek, the corner of his mouth and his jaw. The kisses are slow and gentle now as he hums gently. ]
I really do have no idea what I'm doing, Buck.
[ There's a little chuckle right before he presses another kiss to Bucky's lips. ]
But I want to figure it out for you.
[ Because Bucky's worth it. Because Steve would do anything to pull Bucky apart and make him lose himself again and again for as long as Bucky will let him. ]
[The underlying affection and trust they have for each other is probably a large part of why this works so well for them. They simply fit together, and Bucky feels almost complete when Steve looks at him with that softness in his eyes. The smile he wears in response is probably a little goofy but he doesn't care because it feels so nice to linger like this, warm and happy eagerly returning each kiss that Steve gifts him.]
You just being you is enough for me. I've wanted this for a while, wanted it with you.
[The timing hadn't been right until now; it's an irrefutable fact but Bucky still can't help how happy he is that things are finally falling into place. That they can be here like this, together; that they can cuddle and kiss and touch. He slides a leg along Steve's, shifts to try to press more of himself against his partner (as if there's any space between them at all).]
You are. Everything we're doing has been perfect for me.
[Everything from dance lessons to coffee to kissing to sex, it's perfect.]
[ Being close to Bucky in any capacity is great for him. Being able to touch Bucky like this, to really be this honest with him, is more than Steve could have hoped for.
He wants this. He wants to figure out all of it and he wants to give Bucky everything he could possibly want, because it's nothing short of what Bucky deserves.
His hands move over Bucky's skin and through his hair, shifting and pulling Bucky impossibly closer as he leans in for another kiss, this one full of all the affection he feelings blooming in his chest right now.
He's not exactly ready for the next round, but that doesn't mean he wants to stop touching Bucky for even a second. If there's a physical way to show how much he cares about Bucky, he's going to find it. He's going to find every single way to make sure Bucky knows exactly what he means to Steve. ]
I can't imagine doing anything with you and not loving it.
[Steve's shifting pulls Bucky half on top of him, but Bucky clearly doesn't mind being so close. Especially with hands in his hair and on his skin, with his own hands idly tracing the lines of Steve's body. It's nice: comforting, calming, warm. It's the closest thing to home that Bucky's felt in a long time, and he's pretty sure it's because it's the two of them. It makes him smile, partly for memory of their childhood and partly for having found each other again now.
He follows the kiss with another, placed just to the side of Steve's mouth. A third gets dropped on his chin and a fourth against his neck before Bucky nuzzles right into it. They have a lot of missed time to make up, which clearly means that they need to be cuddling constantly. He has no objections to the idea.]
I'm sure there's something.
[There are probably a lot of somethings, honestly, and a lot of them tied up in the category that is the tragedies of their lives. But Bucky pulls a face when he says it, to distract from the potentially dark path of those thoughts and into the lighthearted and silly instead.]
I mean, remember that time crawling through the sewers? That was not fun.
[ Wow. Steve actually snorts and smacks Bucky's thigh because it's the closest thing to his hand when Bucky says it. Yes, there are plenty of things he could do without experiencing, but anything that qualifies as potentially fun is better with Bucky there, even things he hadn't thought he'd enjoy much, like the dancing. ]
Don't be an ass. You know what I meant.
[ He immediately smooths his hand over the spot he'd smacked, though, mostly just because he wants to keep touching Bucky all over and also because his mind can go to some dark and tragic places, too, and he doesn't want it to. Not right now when he finally has Bucky in his arms.
With a little sigh, he tips his head to the side to make room for Bucky, exposing his throat without much of a thought. ]
[Bucky’s already laughing before that smack; it just makes him laugh even harder. Really, this is just how they are, good natured rubbing and a few sharp elbows here and there. And Bucky’s kind of in love with the fact they hat Steve can fully participate in the roughhousing now, to a greater degree than when they were young. It’s a weight off his shoulders, not constantly worrying if he’s going to be too rough on his friend.]
I know. And I thought you liked my ass.
[Are Steve’s eyes rolling yet? If they’re not, well, Bucky is fully prepared to redouble his efforts. Though he does sigh happily when Steve’s hand strokes over that spot on his thigh, shifting the leg to get more skin contact. It feels good, the simple petting, and he could probably spend most of the rest of the day doing nothing but this.
With another contented sigh he presses a series of soft, happy kisses to Steve’s throat, tiny little things meant more for affection than arousal.]
[ In fact, his hand slides up that thigh to rest on it, touch feather-light.
He still feels a little awe at the fact that he can touch Bucky like this, that he can pour all that affection out on Bucky without holding back. That Bucky's returning it is an added bonus, but all Steve really wants right now is to make Bucky feel exactly how important and appreciated he is here. How much he means to Steve and how needed he is in Steve's life, even after all these years.
Bucky still feels like home to him in a way nothing else does anymore. ]
It's a nice one.
[ He closes his eyes, drawing shapes on Bucky's skin and enjoying the feel of those little kisses.
Everything about this feels so intimate. He feels exposed to Bucky completely and it doesn't scare him at all now. He can't imagine not jumping head-first into anything with Bucky by his side. Maybe he's riding a little high on emotions and afterglow right now, but that's okay, too. After all this time, they're allowed a little indulgence. ]
[At that touch Bucky wiggles his ass a little bit, just to be a brat. He thinks Steve's probably expecting something of the sort anyway. He does chuckle at the comment though, the way Steve agrees with him. It's nice, it's fun, it's silly, and it's kind of perfect.
He doesn't even have words to describe how right this is, but hopefully Steve can tell just from the way Bucky stays close to him, as much skin pressed together as possible and his hands softly petting wherever they can reach.]
I'm kinda partial to yours, personally.
[Eventually he half rolls away, just enough to snag the edge of the blanket and drag it with him as he settles back against Steve. The bed is already pretty rumpled from their activities anyway and it's certainly not cold, but there's something about snuggling in and cocooning himself against his partner that makes it just a little bit more cozy. It's like nothing of the outside world can touch them here, like they're in a little bubble of space all their own and nothing else exists.
It's a silly fantasy of course, but Bucky wants to hold onto it for as long as possible.]
[ Steve watches Bucky's movements with a lazy, hooded look. Bucky could probably get away with anything right now as long as it doesn't involve moving away from Steve for too long.
With Bucky settled back against him, he wraps a strong arm around Bucky again, holding him and the blanket close. It does feel nice. It's safe in a way he's not sure he's ever felt without Bucky there. Maybe not since before the war, back when he'd been so small and they'd barely made it by some months, but Bucky had been there to have his back and they'd always caught each other on a stumble.
He'd been so confident back then that he couldn't fail, because Bucky was always a step behind him and they'd been unstoppable together, making impossible things work out and anchoring each other in ways no one else ever could.
Maybe they can just stay like this forever. Steve things he's so tired sometimes. For all the jokes about his age, he hasn't been awake for that long. He shouldn't feel this tired and old. At least with Bucky, he almost doesn't. He almost feels like he could keep going forever. ]
You want to sleep a little.
[ He turns his head, pushes his nose into Bucky's hair. ]
[Strictly speaking, Bucky isn’t tired. Lazy from their activities and content to linger, yes. But not really tired. However when Steve suggests it, all he can picture is drifting off curled together like this. And who knows? Maybe the company will keep the nightmares at bay. Not that they’re as frequent now as they used to be, but Bucky still gets them.
It’s a good thing though, he supposes. It means he hasn’t grown complacent to the kinds of horrors he’s seen.
But now Steve offers the opportunity to sleep together — in the innuendo-free sense of the word — and the idea seems pretty damn attractive.]
I could doze a little, I think. You’re comfortable.
[He smiles at the way Steve nuzzles. Apparently they both like his long hair!]
[ Steve's not entirely tired, either, but he's content and his limbs feel heavy. He thinks he'd like to lie here and doze with Bucky for a while before they do anything else. And he'd like to do that, too, but first this.
He kisses Bucky's hair, which he definitely does like. It suits him. It's different from what he used to look like, but it's still Bucky, just like the rest of him. He still feels like Bucky in every way that matters, even with all the newer details. ]
Mmm yeah.
[ His arms tighten around Bucky as he shifts a little before settling again. ]
[Not that he’d thought it would be bad or anything! It’s more that the closeness they share is something that goes beyond the physical sensation, a feeling that goes all the way down to Bucky’s heart. Steve is as comfortable as a favorite sweater but as exciting as a new thrill; it’s a dichotomy that’s going to keep Bucky as interested as it keeps him on his toes. He wouldn’t trade it for anything.
He gently pets skin as Steve settles, leaning up for a kiss before nuzzling into prime cuddling position, curled up against Steve with legs tangled. He’s quite content to just drift into a doze as long as Steve is equally as comfortable; even shifting around if the desire so moves them. They just fit together that well.]
[ Steve means to answer, but the lazy murmur that he responds with is mostly unintelligible as he lets himself drift off. Bucky's right, though. However nice this could have been in his imagination, the reality of having Bucky in his arms is something else entirely. He feels safe and he feels like Bucky is safe here and it sets so many of his worries aside.
Normally, his sleep isn't always restful. His nightmares aren't as bad as he suspects Bucky's are, but even after he'd gotten Bucky back, he'd still dreamt of that train from time to time. Now, his dreams are peaceful, even in the light sleep.
Periodically, he shifts in his sleep, holding Bucky a little tighter or nuzzling into his soft hair. Even at rest, his body knows that it's Bucky here, weight against him like an anchor. ]
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unshielding) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
keepcruising2018-04-22 09:44 pm
no subject
You know I can't back away from a good challenge.
[ And if there's a little laughter in his voice, it's only because historically this has involved Bucky getting pulled into Steve's challenges and this will be no different. ]
I guess I'll have to stay a while, then. Redefine what being spoiled means for you.
[ He scratches at Bucky's scalp gently as his other hand caresses Bucky's jaw. Tender, affectionate touches that he can't help giving, as simple as exhaling a breath. ]
no subject
Then I guess I'm just gonna have to keep challenging you, aren't I?
[Which is just a part of who they are, really. The fact that they're exploring intimacy doesn't change that very basic tenant of their friendship.
Turning into those soft caresses, Bucky presses a kiss to the palm of Steve's hand before turning eyes on him once again. And the idea those words spark is wild, it's crazy, it's—]
Let's do it then. Stay a week — stay longer than a week. Let's just... explore each other. Figure this thing out.
[Sexually, platonically, and everything in between. Every shade and nuance of what they've become, every memory pieced together from their past and laid against their present, every way their new bodies fit together. It's worth exploring and it's worth doing together. And a week away from the world (barring the world falling apart)? That's definitely something Bucky wants to explore.]
no subject
Neither of them have ever been afraid to call each other out or poke at each other's bruises. He's honestly relieved that they've settled back into that. It's a sure sign that Bucky really has made worlds of progress and Steve couldn't be happier about that. He'd hated feeling like they were tip-toeing around each other. ]
Okay.
[ There's a slow, lazy smile on his face as he says it and he really doesn't need to think it over to know that he wants what Bucky is suggesting. Things will always pull at them. He can't change who he is or walk away from it, but Bucky is a constant, too, and that's important. Things may pull at them sometimes, but Steve would like to think it's clear that Bucky's a big priority now that he's back in Steve's life. ]
I don't think I've heard a better offer since you asked me to live with you in Brooklyn.
[ There are a lot of reasons to say no, but one very big reason to say yet: He loves Bucky. ]
no subject
It's a comfortable feeling and goes perfectly with the warmth that is their bodies pressed together.
Bucky's mouth crooks into a smile. Their Brooklyn apartment was the worst, small and cramped and too cold in the winter, too hot in the summer. But it had been theirs, and that's all that had mattered.]
I just might be asking you to do that now, pal.
[Not that their lives will make it easy, and there's no guarantee that they'll see the inside of the apartment as much as they could be out and about doing what they need to do. But why not? It wouldn't be the first time they lived together, and Bucky thinks he adores the idea of sharing their space on a more regular basis.]
Is that too crazy an idea?
no subject
Is it a crazy idea? Steve's probably not the best judge, anyway. He's well aware that he's always doing things that people think are crazy. He can't worry about them. He has to be true to himself and what he wants in life. This is what he wants right here. ]
Does it matter if it's crazy?
[ It sounds like a great idea to him, like something he would have wanted even without this new aspect of their relationship developing.
Sometimes he still worries about crowding Bucky too much. Giving Bucky space to figure out his own autonomy had been important, much as it had pained Steve to do anything other than drag Bucky around with him everywhere, but now Bucky's doing pretty well. Steve isn't worried anymore that Bucky might be following his lead out of habit. He hasn't been worried about that for a while.
Bucky isn't asking him to stay because he's afraid to be alone or because he thinks it's what Steve wants. He wants it himself and Bucky asking for things he wants isn't going to get old for Steve. It still make him happy to see that giant step of progress and he can't help indulging in just about anything Bucky asks for.
His slides his hand over Bucky's cheek, thumb moving in a gentle caress.]
Buck, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
no subject
He leans up, levers himself up with an elbow so that he can lean right into Steve’s space and kiss him full on the mouth.]
Wouldn’t be the first time either of us has done something crazy.
[Happiness dances in his eyes, clear and bright as anything and yes, this is something Bucky wants. It’s what he wants and it’s something he’s going to reach out and take because he can, because he and Steve have always been two halves of a whole. And with Steve he feels whole, happy and whole and he’s not the Bucky Barnes he used to be and that’s okay too.
He presses into Steve’s touch, silently asking him for more. He can’t get enough of the affection that flows so easily through them.]
And there’s no one I’d rather be with. I think that makes us a pretty perfect match.
no subject
Even when he'd had nothing, he'd had Bucky. Those words had been so true, but more than that, when he'd had Bucky, he hadn't wanted for much more. Steve's never needed fancy things beyond maybe a little extra medical care. He's never wanted any of it. Living that modest life he'd lived with Bucky had felt like paradise once, even when he'd been cold and sometimes hungry, because he'd had someone with him who he could count on no matter. Money can't buy what they have.
His thumb keeps caressing Bucky's skin, moving down over Bucky's jaw until his fingers are playing over the bruise Steve had left on Bucky's throat. It will fade soon, but Steve can add more. ]
You might be right.
[ When his eyes move back up from Bucky's neck to his eyes again, there's something warm and happy there that he hasn't felt in a long time. He can't remember the last time he was so content, but there's a feeling of peace within him and he knows it can't last forever, but he's going to enjoy it this time. He's had too many missed chances in his life. This isn't going to be another one. ]
no subject
He wouldn’t mind being the one who brings that happiness back to Steve.
He leans quite happily into Steve’s caress, a content look painted across his expression. And he can’t hide the shiver that runs down his spine when Steve lingers against that bruise, re-igniting the feeling of having received it in the first place. It’s probably pretty clear that Bucky wouldn’t mind sporting a few more, and on a pretty regular basis.]
Of course I’m right. It’s me.
[Really, does Steve expect any other kind of answer to a statement like that?!? Bucky’s just so happy though, and part of his happiness is in teasing, because they’ve always pushed and challenged each other. Being together like this isn't going to change that one bit. Especially when he sees the warmth in his friend’s expression, the happiness reflected there. What they have now is something that maybe they’ve always had, and they just needed to both be in the right place for it. That’s a comforting thought: that for as hard as their lives have been, they have something precious now.]
Though I have to say— [his smile turns a little wicked] —that I wouldn’t mind if you decided to instigate again.
no subject
[ Steve can't even manage to tease all that hard right now. He's too happy. Seeing all that contentment on Bucky's face is like the greatest prize for him. He remembers a time when he hadn't known if Bucky could ever really be okay again. He'd been so worn down and frightened and it had broken Steve's heart to see it.
Now, he's so thankful for these moments. Every little smile or relaxed moment for Bucky is a win in Steve's eyes. That he's the cause is even better.
It feels like they're so connected now and Steve wants to hold onto that as long as he can.
His fingers travel down to Bucky's shoulder, tracing gentle shapes there. ]
I think I'm pretty good at instigating.
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[And sure, maybe their teasing game is a little weak right now but it'll surely be forgiven with how completely happy he is to be curled up with Steve, touching and caressing and kissing. And Bucky likes the promise in it too, the promise for more of this, for similar encounters. And even for mornings spent in each other's space, afternoons curled on the couch with books or a movie.
He shifts his arm to wrap it around Steve's waist, squeezing happily.]
You are, are you? [It's a little bit mischievous and a lot happy, and Bucky raises himself up just enough to kiss Steve, because he's never going to get enough of kissing Steve.] Because I'm half tempted to tell you to seduce me.
[It's half a tease and half not, full of affection for Steve and a sense of complete awe that this is happening at all.]
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He hums thoughtfully, trying his best to look like he really is considering it carefully.
There's a wicked little smile on his lips as the arm that's wrapped around Bucky tightens and his hand slides up Bucky's neck to tangle in his hair and pull him back in for a much more heated kiss. His other hand finds its way to Bucky's lower back and then lower over the swell of his ass.
He even lets a little moan slip out, promising just as much as it is appreciative.
The kiss lingers, hot and hard until he finds himself going a little breathless from it. ]
I'm not sure if I know how to seduce, but I can try.
[ Or he's a teasing asshole. ]
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He's also enjoying the way Steve pulls him close now, hands on his skin and in his hair and not at all shy about where they wander. His hips rock as he pushes his ass against Steve's hand, inviting, and the kiss is returned with as much enthusiasm as it's given. One thing is most certainly for sure: Bucky isn't going to be tired of kissing Steve any time soon.
His eyebrows go up at that comment though, his expression incredulous. It's half an act, just as Steve's considering look had been.]
Steve, if this is you not knowing how to seduce me, then I'm definitely in trouble because damn.
[Oh, he's definitely an asshole. But he's Bucky's asshole.]
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His hands stay where they are, holding Bucky close as he brushes his nose against Bucky's and kisses his cheek, the corner of his mouth and his jaw. The kisses are slow and gentle now as he hums gently. ]
I really do have no idea what I'm doing, Buck.
[ There's a little chuckle right before he presses another kiss to Bucky's lips. ]
But I want to figure it out for you.
[ Because Bucky's worth it. Because Steve would do anything to pull Bucky apart and make him lose himself again and again for as long as Bucky will let him. ]
And I want to take care of you.
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You just being you is enough for me. I've wanted this for a while, wanted it with you.
[The timing hadn't been right until now; it's an irrefutable fact but Bucky still can't help how happy he is that things are finally falling into place. That they can be here like this, together; that they can cuddle and kiss and touch. He slides a leg along Steve's, shifts to try to press more of himself against his partner (as if there's any space between them at all).]
You are. Everything we're doing has been perfect for me.
[Everything from dance lessons to coffee to kissing to sex, it's perfect.]
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[ Being close to Bucky in any capacity is great for him. Being able to touch Bucky like this, to really be this honest with him, is more than Steve could have hoped for.
He wants this. He wants to figure out all of it and he wants to give Bucky everything he could possibly want, because it's nothing short of what Bucky deserves.
His hands move over Bucky's skin and through his hair, shifting and pulling Bucky impossibly closer as he leans in for another kiss, this one full of all the affection he feelings blooming in his chest right now.
He's not exactly ready for the next round, but that doesn't mean he wants to stop touching Bucky for even a second. If there's a physical way to show how much he cares about Bucky, he's going to find it. He's going to find every single way to make sure Bucky knows exactly what he means to Steve. ]
I can't imagine doing anything with you and not loving it.
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He follows the kiss with another, placed just to the side of Steve's mouth. A third gets dropped on his chin and a fourth against his neck before Bucky nuzzles right into it. They have a lot of missed time to make up, which clearly means that they need to be cuddling constantly. He has no objections to the idea.]
I'm sure there's something.
[There are probably a lot of somethings, honestly, and a lot of them tied up in the category that is the tragedies of their lives. But Bucky pulls a face when he says it, to distract from the potentially dark path of those thoughts and into the lighthearted and silly instead.]
I mean, remember that time crawling through the sewers? That was not fun.
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Don't be an ass. You know what I meant.
[ He immediately smooths his hand over the spot he'd smacked, though, mostly just because he wants to keep touching Bucky all over and also because his mind can go to some dark and tragic places, too, and he doesn't want it to. Not right now when he finally has Bucky in his arms.
With a little sigh, he tips his head to the side to make room for Bucky, exposing his throat without much of a thought. ]
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I know. And I thought you liked my ass.
[Are Steve’s eyes rolling yet? If they’re not, well, Bucky is fully prepared to redouble his efforts. Though he does sigh happily when Steve’s hand strokes over that spot on his thigh, shifting the leg to get more skin contact. It feels good, the simple petting, and he could probably spend most of the rest of the day doing nothing but this.
With another contented sigh he presses a series of soft, happy kisses to Steve’s throat, tiny little things meant more for affection than arousal.]
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[ In fact, his hand slides up that thigh to rest on it, touch feather-light.
He still feels a little awe at the fact that he can touch Bucky like this, that he can pour all that affection out on Bucky without holding back. That Bucky's returning it is an added bonus, but all Steve really wants right now is to make Bucky feel exactly how important and appreciated he is here. How much he means to Steve and how needed he is in Steve's life, even after all these years.
Bucky still feels like home to him in a way nothing else does anymore. ]
It's a nice one.
[ He closes his eyes, drawing shapes on Bucky's skin and enjoying the feel of those little kisses.
Everything about this feels so intimate. He feels exposed to Bucky completely and it doesn't scare him at all now. He can't imagine not jumping head-first into anything with Bucky by his side. Maybe he's riding a little high on emotions and afterglow right now, but that's okay, too. After all this time, they're allowed a little indulgence. ]
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He doesn't even have words to describe how right this is, but hopefully Steve can tell just from the way Bucky stays close to him, as much skin pressed together as possible and his hands softly petting wherever they can reach.]
I'm kinda partial to yours, personally.
[Eventually he half rolls away, just enough to snag the edge of the blanket and drag it with him as he settles back against Steve. The bed is already pretty rumpled from their activities anyway and it's certainly not cold, but there's something about snuggling in and cocooning himself against his partner that makes it just a little bit more cozy. It's like nothing of the outside world can touch them here, like they're in a little bubble of space all their own and nothing else exists.
It's a silly fantasy of course, but Bucky wants to hold onto it for as long as possible.]
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With Bucky settled back against him, he wraps a strong arm around Bucky again, holding him and the blanket close. It does feel nice. It's safe in a way he's not sure he's ever felt without Bucky there. Maybe not since before the war, back when he'd been so small and they'd barely made it by some months, but Bucky had been there to have his back and they'd always caught each other on a stumble.
He'd been so confident back then that he couldn't fail, because Bucky was always a step behind him and they'd been unstoppable together, making impossible things work out and anchoring each other in ways no one else ever could.
Maybe they can just stay like this forever. Steve things he's so tired sometimes. For all the jokes about his age, he hasn't been awake for that long. He shouldn't feel this tired and old. At least with Bucky, he almost doesn't. He almost feels like he could keep going forever. ]
You want to sleep a little.
[ He turns his head, pushes his nose into Bucky's hair. ]
I'm not going anywhere.
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[Strictly speaking, Bucky isn’t tired. Lazy from their activities and content to linger, yes. But not really tired. However when Steve suggests it, all he can picture is drifting off curled together like this. And who knows? Maybe the company will keep the nightmares at bay. Not that they’re as frequent now as they used to be, but Bucky still gets them.
It’s a good thing though, he supposes. It means he hasn’t grown complacent to the kinds of horrors he’s seen.
But now Steve offers the opportunity to sleep together — in the innuendo-free sense of the word — and the idea seems pretty damn attractive.]
I could doze a little, I think. You’re comfortable.
[He smiles at the way Steve nuzzles. Apparently they both like his long hair!]
You?
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He kisses Bucky's hair, which he definitely does like. It suits him. It's different from what he used to look like, but it's still Bucky, just like the rest of him. He still feels like Bucky in every way that matters, even with all the newer details. ]
Mmm yeah.
[ His arms tighten around Bucky as he shifts a little before settling again. ]
This is nice.
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[Not that he’d thought it would be bad or anything! It’s more that the closeness they share is something that goes beyond the physical sensation, a feeling that goes all the way down to Bucky’s heart. Steve is as comfortable as a favorite sweater but as exciting as a new thrill; it’s a dichotomy that’s going to keep Bucky as interested as it keeps him on his toes. He wouldn’t trade it for anything.
He gently pets skin as Steve settles, leaning up for a kiss before nuzzling into prime cuddling position, curled up against Steve with legs tangled. He’s quite content to just drift into a doze as long as Steve is equally as comfortable; even shifting around if the desire so moves them. They just fit together that well.]
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Normally, his sleep isn't always restful. His nightmares aren't as bad as he suspects Bucky's are, but even after he'd gotten Bucky back, he'd still dreamt of that train from time to time. Now, his dreams are peaceful, even in the light sleep.
Periodically, he shifts in his sleep, holding Bucky a little tighter or nuzzling into his soft hair. Even at rest, his body knows that it's Bucky here, weight against him like an anchor. ]
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