keepcruising | Open Post for FATWS shitposting

[ he knows. it's not a feeling in his bones or the instinctive thud of his heart. he knows because it is a fact, immutable, unbreakable. steve gave him a shield, but all sam could see was a shaky reflection of himself. blurred. unsteady.

in bucky, no matter how hard they butt head, he sees himself. unbreaking lines of truth. a shield in its own right. maybe that's what sam needs. even if his head keeps spinning with each new change. ]

I know, man. There's no way you wouldn't have let it happen. But it happens everywhere. No amount of shine is gonna help me dodge it.

[ sam breathes out. or at least tries to. ]

Gotta take the knocks and keep going.

Yeah.

[ Bucky crams his gloved hands into his jacket pockets. A lot of things are different now than they were in the 40s, but maybe some of them aren't different enough.

Steve had woken up suddenly and had to learn everything at once, but what Bucky's processing is different. He'd seen the world change, but he hadn't been himself doing it. Still, he can't help thinking this might have been easier with Steve here, even if he never would have asked Steve to make that sacrifice for him.

It's hard, but Bucky can do hard. He can take his own knocks and keep going, too, and maybe that's why Steve had felt okay leaving them with each other, because Sam's got his own scars even if Bucky doesn't know where all of them are yet. You don't see active service like they have and walk away unscathed and he knows that. ]

You sound even more like Steve when you put it like that.

[ There's a sad sort of smile thrown Sam's way as he says that. He's not trying to dig in about the shield this time. He just finds it comforting to see that reminder of Steve's stubborn determination. It's what had made him Steve way before the serum had given him muscles. ]

[ sam's not sure how he feels about that. on one hand, it's flattering, for sure. as sam told nick fury long ago, they were similar people. sam has his own reckless and stubborn streak a mile long, but it is tempered by a different collection of life experiences. the kind steve didn't have to deal with. the kind that keeps isaiah bitter and alone.

he's not bitter. sam's never held onto any illusions that came to bite him back. but after being with steve this long . . . maybe he does feel alone in it. five years and in a blink, sam is also a man out of time.

sam manages a faint smile. ]

Some of it is bound to rub off me.

You know he was even worse when he was small and sick, right?

[ Maybe not worse, exactly, but Bucky remembers being a lot more worried that Steve's stupid body would give out on him. Nothing about Steve that matters had come out of the serum. In Bucky's eyes, it had just made him safer.

He glances at Sam again, a little more unguarded this time. Talking about Steve doesn't feel easy right now. They'd barely gotten each other back before Steve had left again and Bucky had never been much of an open book before. ]

Whatever, you don't have the excuse of being a small little shit.

And I don't need any excuse.

[ his feet are firmly planted and he won't sit here and wait for ghosts to dissipate from bucky's eyes. the present is moving and sam will move with it. ]

This is who I am.

Open Post for FATWS shitposting

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