keepcruising | post-IW

Bucky's not sure exactly what happened. One minute, he'd been walking towards Steve feeling sicker than he'd ever felt in his life and the next thing he knew, he'd stumbled and woken up on the ground in Wakanda alone. No, not alone. Others had been waking up around them, but Steve hadn't been among them and Bucky couldn't help the rising panic in his chest at that thought. He hadn't been unaware of the possibility that one of them could die. It's a possibility in any fight, but he's not ready to lose Steve. He'd barely been ready to fight, himself.

That's how T'Challa finds him sitting in the dirt and drags him back to the palace for an explanation. The story at the palace hadn't been promising. Steve had been alive, but he'd left to find Thanos. Bucky can only guess that they'd won somehow, but he doesn't know if Steve is even alive right now.

Steve's always had a knack for leaping into danger and if he thought Bucky was dead, well... Bucky's not an idiot. He knows that it would have only made Steve more reckless, especially in the wake of all their late night conversations and half-hinted feelings, the way Steve sits closer now than he used to and the way he lets Bucky look for excuses to touch him. He's seen the way Steve looks at him when he thinks Bucky isn't looking and maybe Bucky should have said something when he'd had the chance, but he can't imagine anyone really wants such a broken man.

For Steve, he thinks, it's about missing his best friend and being confused, but for Bucky, it's not much different than it's always been. He's always been a little in love with Steve Rogers. He might be more clingy these days, but that's just never changed.

So he sends a text to the phone that he really doesn't expect to be working anymore and he stays at the palace to wait. Steve will come back if he's out there. He has to.

Where are you?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's a shuddering breath he can't quite control as they kiss, like a lifetime of tension is slowly draining from him.

"Been yours for a long time, Steve." Maybe always. He's not really sure anymore, but he can't remember a time he wasn't a little stupid for Steve Rogers, more devoted than he probably should've been and never unhappy about it, because that's how love works.

He presses closer, lets his legs tangle with Steve's as they kiss like he never wants to let go.

"I've been yours since that crappy little apartment in Brooklyn, Buck." Probably longer, if he thought about it, but he had been a kid. He didn't really know back then what he was doing. As he grew older, into a man, he knew what he wanted. And it wasn't the girls Bucky kept trying to set him up with.

Granted, it was a different time back then. He couldn't have Bucky, not like that, not with the times they were. So, he kept his thoughts to himself. At least he had Bucky as his best friend and that's all he could hope for, right?

No, now he knew he could have it all.

Steve groaned into the kiss, wanting so much to just take Bucky and never let him go. "God, I... You make me feel so happy."

Bucky had liked the girls he'd been with. He's never let himself really overthink things with Steve too much, but there'd always been a sense of longing there and a sense of permanence between them. He couldn't have pictured a life for himself where Steve wouldn't have been his partner in so many ways.

"Good." He smiles, eyes lighting up as he looks at Steve. Making him happy is important. Steve sacrifices so much for everyone else. Bucky just wants to take care of him. He's always wanted that, even when he hadn't been sure what it had meant. He always feels better around Steve. Lighter.

"You make me happy, too."

Steve nodded his head, stopping what he was doing to stare into Bucky's eyes. "The feeling is mutual." His voice is low and quiet, barely above a whisper but he knows that Bucky can hear him. All the past, everything in their lives had led them to this moment. It had been a long and arduous road, with many perils along the way, but it had brought them here. For that, Steve wouldn't trade that for the world.

In a way, they really take care of each other. When they were together and it was just them, the rest of the world faded away. Steve craved that quiet, with no missions or fighting and just enjoying the moment together.

Them together.

"You remember that time when it was my birthday and I tried to make a cake," he asked softly. "It came out terrible. It tasted chalky and it was all we could to take two bites before we threw it in the garbage?" He laughed, letting his hand trail slowly up and down Bucky's bicep. "It didn't matter, because you were there. And you told me a birthday was about the people around you, not the things or the food."

Steve leaned in close, kissing Bucky's neck. "I always want you around me."

post-IW

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