James Bucky Barnes, NOT The Winter Soldier (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
restoral) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
keepcruising2021-05-24 09:39 pm
restoral) wrote in keepcruising2021-05-24 09:39 pm
Falcon and the Winter Idiot
Being on the run wears them all down at times, but Bucky can't imagine doing this without Sam and Steve and Natasha. They're a team, maybe not like the Avengers, but it feels a little like being with the Howlies back in the war sometimes. Dangers are everywhere, but Bucky knows a few people he can trust implicitly and even if his trust in Natasha isn't quite as far along yet, he knows Steve trusts her and he trusts Sam's judgment. He wouldn't blame any of them for leaving, but none of them would turn on the others.
Sam in particular has had Bucky's back in ways Bucky can't even begin to thank him for, even before they'd all gone on the run together. More importantly, though, Sam's just an amazing person all around and Bucky had decided a while ago that he'd be seeing this through to the end. As long as there's danger out there for Sam, he's got one metal-armed super soldier watching his back, especially now that thanks to the Wakandans he isn't a danger himself.
His thoughts wander as he towels off his hair and reaches for his clean underwear. There are days they have to rough it more than this, but today they've got two rooms in a small hotel. It's not fancy, but the water's hot, the room is clean and he's sharing with Sam (as usual).
"Bathroom's yours." He steps out in his underwear and starts digging in his bag for a clean shirt and sweatpants to sleep in.
Sam in particular has had Bucky's back in ways Bucky can't even begin to thank him for, even before they'd all gone on the run together. More importantly, though, Sam's just an amazing person all around and Bucky had decided a while ago that he'd be seeing this through to the end. As long as there's danger out there for Sam, he's got one metal-armed super soldier watching his back, especially now that thanks to the Wakandans he isn't a danger himself.
His thoughts wander as he towels off his hair and reaches for his clean underwear. There are days they have to rough it more than this, but today they've got two rooms in a small hotel. It's not fancy, but the water's hot, the room is clean and he's sharing with Sam (as usual).
"Bathroom's yours." He steps out in his underwear and starts digging in his bag for a clean shirt and sweatpants to sleep in.
no subject
Not that it's been without difficulties. Helping Bucky hide away in Sam's house in DC in direct conflict with Steve's desire to find Bucky had been a journey. Still the right thing to do to give Bucky shelter and space to figure himself out, and Steve gets that these days, even if Sam was never gonna begrudge him the anger over feeling betrayed initially.
And now they're on the run. Bucky returning to them after getting his brain unscrambled by the Wakandans feels good, feels right. Makes their cover stories a little easier to sell, too - two couples travelling together is less awkward, after all. And if anyone had told Sam that fake dating Bucky for the sake of booking rooms and looking oh so normal would be the most comfortable thing in the world, Sam wouldn't have believed it either.
"'m tired."
He mutters it into the pillow, and it comes out as something less than words. Sam knows he should get up, shower, get ready for bed. But god, he's so done, so exhausted. They had to ditch their shitty stolen car quite the distance away, and goddamn hiked into town.
Just a couple backpackers long past their college years, nothing to see here.
Kill him. He just wants to sleep. Sam's sprawled over the bed, Bucky can arrange himself around that however he goddamn likes.
no subject
"No kidding."
He crawls on the bed in the space that's left on one side and pushes Sam over a little. He's gentle about it, using the blanket under Sam to get a little more space. It's not a my-side-your-side situation nearly as much as Bucky just doesn't want to roll out of the bed, so he winds up lying next to Sam with one of his ankles crossing over Sam's and their elbows brushing.
"Which of us is the old man again?"
It's not quite a whisper, but the words are soft. Private.
no subject
It feeds something inside of Sam he hadn't known was malnourished until recently.
"It's me," he mumbles into the pillow, then turns his head. Both so that he doesn't suffocate and so that he can look at Bucky from underneath long lashes, his eyes soft with exhaustion, even though he's not technically tired. "You're only old on a technicality. My body's reminding me I'm turning 40."
Soon, in fact. As in, once the clock strikes midnight.
no subject
He remembers sleeping on floors, stirring at the sound of an animal outside and even barricading the door just to sleep some nights. Now, he's a little less tense. He's still a light sleeper, but if he stirs he can process and drift back asleep without that adrenaline spike ripping him awake for hours. Sure, there are still bad nights, but he's having more and more good ones and he has to admit that the sound of Sam's easy breathing is better than any nameless white noise.
He turns his head just enough to speak more clearly.
"Next time I'll carry your bags for you, sweetpea."
no subject
"I'll hold you to that, babe."
Sweetpea's just ridiculous. Their cover stories have turned into a game of endearment chicken that Sam's determined not to lose, even while they're getting comfortable in bed and there's no one else to hear. He already knows his favourites. Sweetheart is uncontested. And he's pretty sure Bucky means 'dollface' as an absolute mockery, but Sam's not as mad about it as he thought he'd be. Sam mostly sticks with 'babe', 'love' and 'honey', but he'll pull out the occasional utterly saccharine, over the top one just to see if he can get Bucky to break character a little bit.
Sam shifts, bumping his hand into Bucky's shoulder, their calves rubbing together briefly.
"Steve carries Tasha's bags. Why's my pretend boyfriend not an old-fashioned gentleman?"
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"I thought we were the modern couple of the group."
But of course Bucky's going to carry his bags next time they relocate until Sam yells for them back, because Bucky wants to do something nice but he's also a little shit and he knows it.
Maybe that's the thing that's been the biggest sign of how much he's healed mentally and emotionally. He's right back to being a complete little shit when the opportunity presents itself.
"I can do old fashioned, though. I'll carry you over a puddle next time we see one."
He bites his lip, trying not to smile too hard at the offer/threat.
no subject
Sam snorts though, an ugly little sound of pure amusement, half tucked into the pillow as he reaches out to flick a strand of hair away from Bucky's forehead. His finger skim down - and then he tugs on Bucky's earlobe, a shameless tease.
"I'll hold you to that, y'know. No chickening out."
And even in the dark, his eyes are bright with mirth as he looks at Bucky. It should be weird, this closeness between them. The constant teasing that borders on flirtation - and often crosses that line and many more - and the physical proximity. But it works. And it makes Sam feel lighter than he has in years.