unshielding: ([famira]X73BdRHr_o)
Steve Rogers ([personal profile] unshielding) wrote in [community profile] keepcruising2018-09-02 07:31 pm

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Steve had never seen himself going to prison. For some reason he'd thought that doing the right thing had been some kind of shield he could throw around to protect himself. It's not even that he'd wanted to avoid consequence so much as that he'd never thought through exactly how far the right thing and the law might stray from each other.

None of that really matters, anyway, because the trial is over and Steve is looking at a minimum of two years in minimum security prison. This is his life for the next two years. It puts college on hold and it may stick with him for the rest of his life and he still doesn't think he did a damn thing wrong, but that doesn't make the prospect of being in prison any less daunting. His sentence would have been worse if the judge hadn't had a soft spot for veterans, too. Steve had hated letting his lawyer play that card, but he hadn't had much of a choice.

He's got muscles, at least. As he's going through the intake process, he notices most of the men are smaller than him and a few of them eye him warily. He says nothing to anyone unless he's supposed to, leaving the chatter to a skinny man with a face tattoo and whoever he can manage to pull answers from.

There's a pile of clothes and sheets and toiletries in his arms and as they're led in, the group is split up among the blocks. Steve is in C block, he's told, and his cell mate will be a man named Barnes. It all means nothing to Steve, but he remembers the details, anyway. Everything looks the same in here and he wonders what kind of criminal he'll be sharing a cell with. Enough of the men in here come from unwinnable situations. It's not something Steve would look down his nose at. His neighborhood wasn't exactly a safe suburban haven, either, and he could have easily fallen in with a bad crowd or made the wrong decision and wound up in their shoes. He doesn't let himself forget that. Most of them are minor drug offenders or small time thieves, maybe a few bigger offenders moved here for years of good behavior.

When he finally gets to his cell, the top bunk is made and there are a few personal items strewn about. Steve puts his pile on the bottom bunk and starts to unfold his bedding. He resists the urge to dig through Barnes' things to learn more about him.
freightcars: (Bɪɢ Dɪᴘᴘᴇʀ ᴏɴ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏᴏғ)

[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-28 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
Quiet as it is, it still startles the absolute shit out of him. The quiet whisper of your own name in an empty room when you're starting to have a mini freak-out about your mental state will make even the best of men jump. It's only been ten fucking minutes, though, and there's no way he's going out of his mind so quick. Eyes flicker toward the source, the vent on the wall, and he moves to drop down beside it.

There's a little grunt that follows the action. Hardass though he may be, getting dropped on your back will leave anyone a bit sore. A beat later, though, and his back's against the wall next to the vent so he can murmur in turn.

"Steve." Obviously, he saw the face in the cell next door and it's not god damn santa clause. "You okay?"
freightcars: ((cw) 16)

[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-28 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
"M'Fine," He says, and though he sounds tired it's the god's honest truth. Completely and totally fine, thanks to Steve's intervention. He's good, but he's no six guys at a time good. He might've gotten in a few lucky shots, but eventually, he'd have been overwhelmed by four or five while the sixth guy whaled him into submission. Hard to say when they'd have stopped, but surely he'd be in the infirmary instead of SHU.

He heaves out a sigh, flickering eyes down to the vent as though it's Steve himself. "You shouldn't have done that. Fucked yourself a little, you know that right?"

Which is an apology, even if the word 'sorry' isn't used. He's not worth the trouble, honestly.
freightcars: (Nᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴜʀɴ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ)

[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-28 06:47 am (UTC)(link)
Despite himself a breathy chuckle escapes his throat, a tired sound that's almost more dry than amused — but it still counts. A little shake to the head, some shifting can be heard from his side of the wall, just himself bringing a knee up to rest his elbow on it. Just his head thumping back softly against the concrete behind him.

"Thank you," He says finally, earnestly. He might not have apologized in so many words, but gratitude he feels the need to share. It means, of course, that Bucky owes him one. That's how these things work, a debt is paid with a debt. If he didn't already like Steve maybe he'd be more frustrated by that fact, but as it stands Steve's earned himself a more or less permanent form of backup. "Though frankly we'll probably both be outta our damn minds by the time Tuesday rolls around again. Hope you're up to date on word games or you've got a vivid imagination and you like your own hand."

Because there's nothing, not a god damn thing to do here. Eat when they provide food. Sleep more than any human really ought to sleep. Think, and masturbate. That's it. That's an entire week of their lives.
freightcars: (Cᴜᴘ ᴏғ Aᴄᴇ ᴄᴜᴘ ᴏғ Gᴏᴏsᴇ ᴄᴜᴘ ᴏғ Cʀɪs)

[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-29 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
It does get his eyebrows creeping up — not that he's judging, it's just that now he's imaging Steve in there jerking off, and well, it's all kind of a feedback loop isn't it? Catch him listening out for breathy sounds and soft moans later, for skin on skin and... It's abruptly abundantly clear that his own imagination's not so bad itself. Wellp, that's one way to pass an hour tonight.

Speaking of dicks, though.

He heaves a sigh, audible even through the metal grating that separates them. He'd been hoping to keep his sordid history under wraps, but he supposes having taken a punch for him Steve probably deserves the story.

"Alex was here years before me," He starts, an uncomfortable twist to his lips. Settle in, pal, you're in for some story time. "When I first got here I wasn't... doing so good. He sold me this whole... thing about protection, helping me integrate, taking care of my sister on the outside with a little it of cash in exchange for favors."

Because apparently there was a time when Bucky could be bought. Back before he knew exactly what it was he was in for. Back when he was still green.

"Started out... not so bad. Keeping people off his back, sneaking contraband, whatever, but he's... There was this scrawny tweaker kid that spit in his face once, I'm not even sure what for. Alex has a whole hell of a lot of pride, a reputation, he couldn't let it slide, so one night after lights out he got me and a couple other guys to hold him down. I figured he was just gonna pull some macho shit, threaten him, maybe rough him up a little for the crowd so he could get his power back y'know, but he started... Taking the guy's clothes off like he was gonna... and that was it. I'm- no. I couldn't do it. I knocked him out flat on his ass with his dick still out in front of his crew and a couple witnesses."

And there's the truth of it, probably one of the biggest regrets he has in the last five or so years. Not that he knocked Alex out, but that he let himself get suckered into being a god damn weapon for Pierce in the first place. Let himself be manipulated like that.

"He thinks I owe him the same as that kid did. Thinks I've got some kind of leg up over him in the eyes of the population. He wants me to bend over and- I don't know, lick his shoes or suck him off or something, whatever the hell guys like that are after."

Prisons, man. They're all about smokes and sex. Really return people to their animal urges.
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[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-29 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
Such is the prison life. A soft huff escapes him at Steve's tone and conviction, and part of him wants to say this isn't your fight, Steve. Wants to argue, or discredit him, but the fact of the matter is he'd really held his own back there. Between the two of them they did enough damage to probably buy themselves at least a second thought from any more hired goons — Alex's price would have to shoot way up to sway someone, or he'll have to wait for a few new sorry suckers to convince.

Or change his tactics, which is an even icier possibility.

One that Bucky doesn't want to dwell on too hard.

So instead he purses his lips, allows a moment of quiet to pass, and then murmurs, "A good thing would've been never holding him down in the first place."

Not allowing himself to be caught up and intimidated into being a thug for the first few months of his stay here. He's only fortunate that he got himself out before any real damage was done. Alex is his only real enemy, but he's a big one.
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[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-29 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
"Might hold you down for your own damn good," he challenges flatly, because it's easier than saying no. Of course he wouldn't, no matter how much easier it might make his life. Giving into Alex's wishes, doing his penance, falling in line. It'd save him the fear of a future shanking in the showers, and yet here he is.

Another moment passes, and Bucky's leg slides down from it's elevated position to something flat. He hesitates on his question, but ultimately after sharing his own personal demons he thinks he's maybe earned the right to ask, "Why are you here, Steve?"

He doesn't mean SHU. He means prison. Steve seems like a good person, a god damn boy scout. A moral and honest man with good intentions and good humor. How does a man like that wind up in jail?
freightcars: (Mᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟ)

[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-29 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
"Jesus Christ," is all he can manage, eyebrows up and lips parted. On the one hand, yeah, Barnes can see about fifteen ways Steve could've handled the situation better — audio records of the abuse, for starters. On the other hand, though, he can't say he wouldn't maybe have done the same exact thing in Steve's shoes, and...

Christ, he's in a wheelchair for life.

Well, if anybody on the planet deserves it...

But it's not his place to absolve or condemn Steve's actions, and he's sure his opinion on the matter in either direction is unwanted. He keeps the rest of his insightful commentary to himself, and can only shake his head as he processes it.

Wow.

"And now you get to do the same damn thing on the inside," Beating up Alex's goons to defend Bucky's honor. How about that. Dark as it is, he sounds more than a little amused. "They're just gonna put you in progressively smaller boxes."
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[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-29 06:32 am (UTC)(link)
"Second-degree kidnapping," He sighs, like he's quoting scripture. The official title for what he did simplified to three ominous-sounding words, like he's some kind of fucking monster or something. "Would've been first degree since she was under eighteen, but my lawyer got it talked down."

The difference between twenty to life and one to eight years. He still sends the guy Christmas cards - as though his legal fees weren't enough in and of themselves.

"My sister Rebecca's a lot younger than me. She lived with our father and his new girlfriend, it... Wasn't a great place for her. For any of us, but I shipped out before the drinking got too bad." He shouldn't have left her there alone. She was just old enough to be of sound mind, but not old enough in the eyes of the law. Should've had her file for independence, but hindsight is twenty-twenty. "Things got bad for her one night, and she called me. I was still pretty messed up after my discharge. Wasn't thinking about the consequences, I just... picked her up and we took off. He called the cops. Taking a minor across state lines... Would've been an automatic felony."

His father pressed charges. Rebecca moved back in with him for another eight months, and moved back out the day she turned eighteen. No job, no money, no way to support herself. Working for Alex in exchange for sending her enough cash to get by seemed like the right move those first few months. And there it is, his story, stupid as it may be.
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[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-29 06:59 am (UTC)(link)
Again, there are thousands of better and more appropriate ways to have handled things. Filing for custody, calling the cops, calling CPS, any official channel, but the thing is... He knew they wouldn't grant him custody of her. They'd dredge up the PTSD diagnoses, the fact that he lived in a one bedroom apartment, his income too inadequate to cover two people. Up and snatching up his sister in the middle of the school year and driving to the other side of the country was a terrible, stupid, impulsive decision.

And here he is.

They couldn't have just waited out eight more months?

He barks out an unexpected chuckle at the sudden shift in topic, murmurs, "Appreciate that, by the way."

And follows up with a joke of his own, "I spy something white."

It's the fucking walls.
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[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-29 07:58 am (UTC)(link)
Somehow, he takes being called an asshole as a personal victory, and it gets him grinning like a god damn idiot despite himself. With the expression on his face comes a sort of mirth in his chest, a lightness that coasts over the open wounds like a balm. The cracked and corrugated places within his chest feel filled up as though with helium, and god help him if SHU hasn't made him feel better than he has in months.

Oh, fuck.

He's got it.

Feelings, or at least the stirrings of them. Christ almighty, this is prison, Barnes, not a college dorm. It's got to be a proximity thing, got to be that Steve's good looking and relatively new in a place with the same old faces.

...but if they met on the street and had coffee, arguably he wouldn't kick Steve out of bed for eating crackers.

The yawn is contagious, and in an unconscious mirror, he snatches the pillow from his cot. Settles down with his scalp next to the grate, sprawled on the floor like it's a duvet instead of concrete. He doesn't mind, he's slept on the ground for years.

"Pass, I hate that game." He says dismissively, a little closer than before, eight or so inches off from Steve's ear. "Spend a few years abroad, a few years in prison, you don't even know who's a celebrity anymore. Two truths and a lie?
freightcars: ((misc) 135)

[personal profile] freightcars 2018-09-29 08:22 am (UTC)(link)
"Me? Never," He answers flatly, dryly, but he does in fact allow his eyes to close. It's not so bad, really, with someone in speaking distance. Granted he'll probably go stir-crazy by day three regardless, but having someone to drag him out of his own head cuts the pain of SHU in half.

Cuts it to a third with it being Steve, probably.

"How 'bout you just tell me about where you're from," He suggests instead, too lazy to search through his mind's collection of group counseling icebreaker games.
freightcars: ((misc) i won't be judged for this)

[personal profile] freightcars 2018-10-02 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
There's an incredulous silence from the other cell, followed by a scuffling, and then a disbelieving laugh.

"Are you shitting me?" He scoffs, head rolling on concrete toward the vent like he can stare it into submission. "All this god damn time you've been my bunkie and you didn't bother mentioning you were from god damn Brooklyn?"

Maybe it's that his accent's been schooled out to something neutral, or maybe it's the tendency to keep conversations about what's happening on the inside rather than the painful reminders of the outside. Pasts that got them there in the first place, futures that may never be, the uncertainty of the world. Somehow, someway, it's never come up. "I'm from Red Hook."

And that settles it.

He's a goner.

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